About Face
Love in the Suburbs #1
by D.E. Haggerty
Genre: Romantic Comedy
My grandma is trying to hook me up.
To be painfully specific, my seventy-five-year-old grandmother thinks a little hanky-panky would cheer me up. Direct quote. Since Iām currently living with her, I canāt escape the endless line of grandchildren of friends who keep ādropping byā for dinner. Literally, I canāt escape. I can barely manage the trek to the dining room at this point.
While Grandmaās determined to find me a husband, Iām determined to learn how to walk again so I can walk away from her matchmaking skills. Spoiler alert: She has no matchmaking skills.
But then I get a brilliant idea. I can fake date my physical therapist. Only he wants a real date. Gulp. A real date with me? Is he for real? Iām no longer the stylish girl with the glamorous job. Now, Iām a woman with a shattered leg and a scarred face.
If Iām going to learn to live with my new reality and give love a chance, my attitude needs to do an about-face. Easier said than done.
At Arm's Length
Love in the Suburbs #2
Jackson Schmidt is the biggest jerkity jerk ever. They should totally erect a statue to commemorate his jerkityness, jerkdomā Uggh! There are literally not enough words for ājerkā to depict the man.
Unfortunately, Jackson is also the most gorgeous specimen of manhood Iāve ever laid eyes on. One look at him and I want to jump and climb him like a tree. But whenever he opens his mouth, his status as the biggest bastard on the planet is immediately reinstated. Itās impossible for the man to say anything remotely nice ā at least not to me. To my best friend, though? To her, heās Mr. Perfect Gentleman. Did I mention heās carrying a torch for my engaged best friend?
My libido does not give one flying hoot Jackson is a dick who has a crush on my bestie. Nope. Not at all. No matter how much of a schmuck the man is ā and trust me he takes schmuck to the next level ā I continue to pant after him like a nerdy freshman crushing on the prom king. If I want to keep my sanity, Iām going to have to keep Jackson at armās length.
Sanity is totally overrated.
Hands Off
Love in the Suburbs #3
I am done with men. D ā O ā N ā E. DONE!
I donāt care how much billionaire Roman Cadwell pushes (and, oh boy, does the sexy man push ALL my buttons), I am not dating him. Especially not when heās wearing a golden band around his ring finger. I do not get involved with married men. Call it my line in the sand. If a man canāt be faithful, I want not one single thing to do with him.
But what if Roman isnāt really married? What then? No, no, no. I will not fall into Lying McLiarsonās trap.
Only every time the man touches me, my body forgets Iām a good girl and wants to give in. Hands off, Mr. Lying Pants, before I forget Iām a good girl.
Although ā no one said I had to be a good girl forever.
Authorās Note: This romantic comedy contains absolutely, positively NO cheating. None. But it does have a whole bunch of witty dialogue and a super sweet happily ever after. And maybe more drama than the author originally intended. What can she say? The characters have minds of their own.
Hands Off is book 3 of the Love in the Suburbs series but can be read as a standalone.
Excerpt:
āNow, young man.ā I chuckle. Bert is not young by anyoneās
measure except Grandmaās. Based on his receding hairline and the white tinting
his beard, Iām guessing heās somewhere in his late thirties if not older.
āWhatās this about you having a girlfriend?ā
Bert, who just stuffed a huge portion of pork chop into his
mouth, chokes but holds his hand up when Grandma stands and pulls her arm back
as if to whack him on the back. He takes a drink of water and manages to
swallow his food. āMy grandmother Alma doesnāt approve of my relationship.ā
āWhy not?ā Grandma asks as she sits down. āAre you a
homosexual? Do you need me to talk to Alma? She should know better in this day and
age than to discriminate against you gays.ā
Bert starts choking all over again. This time on mere air.
When he gets control of himself, he shakes his head. āUm, no. Iām not gay. I
have a girlfriend,ā he explains
making sure to emphasize āgirlā.
āWhy doesnāt she approve of your relationship?ā I ask before
Grandma can start on some other inane theory.
āMy girlfriend is in prison.ā
My eyes widen at his answer. I can honestly admit of the
dozen scenarios running through my head ā drug dealer, too young, single mother
ā āgirlfriend in prisonā never entered the realm of possibilities. āWhatās she
in for?ā His lips turn down at my question. āWhat? Is it not proper etiquette
to ask?ā Like I care. I will find out what crimes his girlfriend committed.
He shrugs. āI guess I can tell you as youāll probably never
meet Shayla. She was arrested for intent to distribute drugs.ā
My mouth gapes open. āYour girlfriend is a drug dealer?ā
Bertās eyes narrow on me. āNo, she is not. She has a problem
with addiction for which sheās being treated.ā
Sure, sheās not. āDoes she get treatment in prison?ā
āSheās going to NA.ā
I nod. NA is better than nothing I guess, although I wouldnāt
be surprised if she was ordered to attend NA as part of her sentence. Wow.
These blind dates are making me cynical. I take a bite of pork chop as I
consider my next question. āHow did you two meet?ā
āOnline.ā
āLike online dating before she went to prison orā¦ā I trail
off when I see him shaking his head.
āNo, I met her on this website for dating prisoners.ā Thereās
a website for dating prisoners? People, who are not in prison purposefully
choose to find a prisoner to date? Fascinating. I have to find this website.
Maybe his girlfriend is still listed on there.
āBut you have met her in person, right?ā
āOf course.ā Bert smiles. āI drive down to the prison about
once a month to visit her.ā
I lean forward and whisper. āCan you like touch each other
and kiss and stuff when you visit?ā Is it rude to ask someone if they can have
sex with their prisoner girlfriend at the dinner table? I sneak a peek at
Grandma whose mouth is hanging open as she stares at Bert. Okay, probably not
best to ask about sex then.
Bertās face goes nuclear red. Even the tips of his ears are
red. Itās kind of adorable. āNot really. But sheās out soonā¦ā The implication
is clear. He canāt wait to do the horizontal mumbo jumbo with his prisoner
girlfriend.
Grandma clears her throat and stops any further questions of
which I have about a gazillion. Iāve never met anyone who dated a prisoner
before. I donāt think I even know anyone whoās been to jail, let alone prison.
Iām intrigued.
āWhat about in the meantime?ā Grandma asks.
āIn the meantime? What do you mean?ā Bert asks, but I have a
sneaking suspicion where Grandma is going with this line of inquiry and I donāt
like it one bit.
āDonāt you need some female companionship since your girl is
ā¦ um ā¦. unavailable?ā
Oh my god! Is my
grandma trying to pimp me out?
Why love in the
suburbs?
Guest Post
D.E. Haggerty
My latest romantic comedy series, Love in the Suburbs, is set
in the suburbs ā as the name kind of gives away. Readers often wonder why I
chose the suburbs for a romantic series. After all, the suburbs is not your
run-of-the-mill location for a romance. No, romances are usually set in
cosmopolitan areas or rural areas (think sexy cowboys) with not much in
between.
I canāt blame other romance authors for avoiding the suburbs.
The suburbs donāt sound very exciting, and they are most certainly not exotic.
Which is exactly why my series is set in the suburbs. Those poor suburbs get a
bad rap for being boring with a capital B. And yet the majority of the
population lives in the suburbs. Furthermore, the suburbs are growing more
rapidly than rural or urban areas. Doesnāt the majority of the population
deserve some romance?
But wanting to give the suburbs a little romance is not the
only reason my series is set in them. The flight of two of the main characters
from the big city to the suburbs form an important story arc in the series. In
the first novel, About Face, Frankie flees to the suburbs to stay with
her grandparents after a horrible accident has left her unable to navigate the
stairs in her apartment. And in Hands Off, Bailey flees the city after a
relationship goes bad in the worst way.
If youāre looking for love ā whether in the suburbs or not ā
why not give the series a try?
I grew up reading everything I could get my grubby hands on, from my mom's Harlequin romances, to Nancy Drew, to Little Women. When I wasn't flipping pages in a library book, I was penning horrendous poems, writing songs no one should ever sing, or drafting stories which have thankfully been destroyed. College and a stint in the U.S. Army came along, robbing me of free time to write and read, although on the odd occasion I did manage to sneak a book into my rucksack between rolled up socks, MRIs, t-shirts, and cold weather gear. After surviving the army experience, I went back to school and got my law degree. I jumped ship and joined the hubby in the Netherlands before the graduation ceremony could even begin. A few years into my legal career, I was exhausted, fed up, and just plain done. I quit my job and sat down to write a manuscript, which I promptly hid in the attic before returning to the law. But practicing law really wasnāt my thing, so I quit (again!) and went off to Germany to start a B&B. Turns out running a B&B wasnāt my thing either. I polished off that manuscript languishing in the attic before following the husband to Istanbul where I decided to give the whole writer-thing a go. But ten years was too many to stay away from my adopted home. I packed up again and moved to The Hague where, in between tennis matches and failing to save the world, Iām currently working on my next book. I hope Iāll always be working on my next book.
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Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteWhich cover/book do I like the most? Hard question. Especially since I have read the first 2 books and loved them. But I like the sound of About Face the most. The matchmaking grandma and grandchildren of her friends coming over sounds fun. I also like the cover for that one the best. The couple look very relaxed like they are comfortable with each other and have fun.
ReplyDeleteYour comment got me thinking. I do think Frankie has the most fun (despite her whining about her injury).
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