Goshen: A Memoir by Jordan Gerdes ➱ Book Tour with Giveaway

Goshen: A Memoir

by Jordan Gerdes

Genre: YA Memoir

Goshen is a collection that chronicles a battle with depression, heartbreak, and moving forward.

Written first as a collection of notes in a phone, this became the only thing that kept me alive over those few years. It is my hope that you find hope within these pages, a kindred spirit, solidarity, and know that you are not alone.

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Excerpt 1:
From: CHRISTMAS AT 23

He was surrounded by people waiting in the falling snow, all hoping to escape whatever version of Christmas they had dealt with that day. That’s when he saw her. He could feel his heartbeat in his palms. Throbbing. His lungs were tight. His eyes were dead. His voice was sad. It was cold outside. But that's not why his hands shook.

They had sat a few desks apart during his senior year. She was cute. He was too much of an asshole for his own good. And that was that. They rekindled their friendship one holiday break while she was back from school. And subsequently jumped into an ill-advised-long-distance-not-so-relationship.

No labels. No terms or conditions. It was just a friendship that seemed to mean something more. At least to him. She would call and ask him questions about his day and he would help her with her problems. It wasn't much but it worked for him. And one day, it just didn't work for her.

It had been months since they had talked. They had played the follow/unfollow game on social media only to follow each other again a few weeks down the road just to check in, mostly fueled by his jealousy and a few well whiskeys. She had made sense to him.

Excerpt 2:
From :ON ENGAGEMENT RINGS AND LEAVING

Dim lights, the smell of worn felt and spilt beer. We're in the middle of some asinine conversation about God knows what, but my paper-thin attention span has already snapped. I peruse the old cluttered rafters silently, taking in the inebriated romanticism graffitied on every surface. I walk the perimeter, reading things like "Sad and lonely for you only" or "we use to come here every night, it's not the same without you here".

This bar takes on a new life, suddenly, as a Mecca for any down and out, hopeless sad sack looking for a Rainier and kindred souls. I don't know if I belong, but I do wish to pay homage to whatever new wave therapy group this evolved from. I slyly scribble, "she mailed the ring back" just under where the bathroom mirror should be.

Excerpt 3:
From: I DON’T KNOW YOU ANYMORE
he sat in silence. The airport bar was mostly dead, just himself and a few patrons on the outskirts. Just killing time until her plane arrived. The two of them had spent the last few months apart, in different corners of the world. The thesis of this new age experiment was for them to work on themselves, to be selfish, and to hopefully come to a realization that what they actually needed in life was not space, but one another.

*Slide finger down*
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people shuffling everywhere. The smell is indefinable. 20,000 people on 20,000 different paths in life. He sat down outside the international arrivals. Something about airport seating made him feel comfortable. Much of his childhood was spent in airports heading out on vacations. The airport was always his favorite part. This one in particular. It had a life of its own. The old carpet had its own social media for gods’ sake.

Do you prefer to write in silence or with noise? Why?
I used to be a write-with-music person, then I was a write-in-silence person after hearing that it distracts you if there are lyrics in the music. I found a happy medium by listening to instrumental soundtracks that correlate to the mood of the material I am writing. For my short story horror collection, I have been circulating a lot of Colin Stetson (Hereditary, Color Out Of Space) as it absolutely creeps me out and channels me at the same time.

Pen or type writer or computer?
Most of Goshen was actually written on an iphone, either while walking down the street or on the MAX on my way to school. When inspiration hits, you have to document it immediately. I tend to carry around a Moleskin for this purpose, but often, I will be walking through a store and a thought hits me. I pull out my phone, open Evernote, and write the line into a document.
For the current projects, I am writing on a laptop, though pen and iPhone still are used heavily when I am out and about and get a moment of clarity.

Advice they would give new authors?
Do it. Write it. Put it out. I spent so long convincing myself that a) I couldn’t do it, and b) that i had to follow a specific set of rules to write and publish. Self publishing is a grind, but if you want your work out, do it your way. Let the big publishers come to you later on, and just put your writing out there.

Write as much as possible, but don’t let it become a chore. There are days I write one word, and days I write fifty pages.

Finally, don’t do what I did and edit constantly while writing. It is detrimental to your creative processes. Write it all out. Chances are, like anyone else in the world, it will be a mess. But somewhere in there is a nugget of gold that will spring you to the next draft.

What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters from the opposite sex?
From a male point of view, it is so hard to escape all the patriarchal stereotypes that are embedded in you. The last thing I want to do is to use a female character as a trope or simply a plot element, so I typically spend the most time fleshing out these characters of the opposite sex. This takes time to think on, letting the character become a real person, what they like and dislike, how they feel about certain political issues, what they do in their free time, etc. I also bounce ideas off my fiancee to see if the character is believable.

How long on average does it take you to write a book?
Goshen took 3-4 years total, but I also messed around a bunch while writing it. My collection of short stories is going on a year, and my non-fiction history project is coming up on two months, and I hope to have a finished draft by Christmas. There is no right or wrong timeframe. It takes as long as it takes. Enjoy it. Let it write itself. Let your characters tell you what they are going to do, and try not to stand in the way too much.

Jordan Gerdes is an English teacher in Central Oregon, where he lives with his fiancée, Justy and their two goldendoodles, Huck and Finn. He is the owner and editor of Features of Fright, a horror website focused on genre analysis. He is currently working on a collection of short horror stories.

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