The
Queen of Emerald Falls
by
J.J. DiBenedetto
Genre:
Romantic Comedy
She's
spontaneous, passionate and has a habit of mangling the English
language.
He's
calm and controlled and always has the perfect thing to say in every
situation.
If
their differing personalities were the only obstacle, they'd probably
have smooth sailing. Unfortunately, things aren't that simple in the
town of Emerald Falls, and life keeps throwing curveballs at Sheryl
Jones and Dr. Jon Hardy.
If
they're going to find true love, they'll have to deal with Sheryl's
archenemy trying to destroy her business, and Jon's interfering
brother showing up to try and ruin his life. And then there's the
vindictive daughter of the richest man in town, not to mention a
stolen vintage Rolls Royce.
Can
this star-crossed couple fight their way past all the obstacles and
make their way back to each other without losing their jobs, their
sanity or going bankrupt in the meantime?
Romantic
comedy fans will love this quirky mix of "How I Met Your Mother"
and a daytime soap opera.
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Excerpt #1
Her mother began expanding on the tales related in the diary. “You’re going to let me tell it, right, Doc?”
“I will only chime in with corrections or supplementary details." Ariel imagined there were going to be a lot of those.
“Fine, Doc. corrections and details only. So let me set the stage. It was the spring of 1994. Bill Clinton was President, and the governor was…well, it doesn’t really matter, he doesn’t come into it anyway, I was just creating the mood. Bill Clinton, and The Lion King, that was 1994, right, Doc?" Her father shrugged. He did that a lot. “And the Olympics, right? The crazy figure skater, the one who hit the other one with a lead pipe? Tanya Tucker, wasn’t that her name?”
Now her father sighed. He did that a lot, too. “Tanya Tucker is a country singer, Sheryl.”
“Oh, right,” her mother said. “I knew that. ’Stand By Your Man.’” She almost sang the words, producing another sigh from her father.
“Tammy Wynette sang that. Tanya Tucker sang,” her father paused for a moment, clearly trying, and failing, to recall a song Tanya Tucker had sung. It was strange to see him come up empty; that almost never happened. “Well, I’m sure she sang a lot of songs, but that’s neither here nor there. You were thinking of Tonya Harding, and it was her boyfriend who actually hit the other skater with a lead pipe.”
“Whatever. Like I said, I’m just setting the mood. The Lion King, and Bill Clinton, and Tonya Harding, and wasn’t Fraiser on TV? You used to get so annoyed at that show, Doc.”
This time her father growled. “Must you mention that miserable program? It made a mockery of my profession! Fraiser Crane was completely unrepresentative of a practicing psychiatrist, and his brother was even worse! It should never have been allowed on the air!”
“Moving on,” her mother said breezily, “Spring of 1994. Bill Clinton, The Lion King, Tonya Harding, Fraiser, and then there we were, me and your father…”
Excerpt #2
She might be gone, but she was still everywhere, in every room of the Chalet. The place itself was a reminder of her; she’d been the one to recommend it to him when he’d grown tired of that wretched temporary apartment near the university.
The kitchen provided no relief from thoughts of her. The marble island brought back memories of Sheryl’s disastrous attempt to make French toast. A glance at the espresso machine called to mind the night she’d somehow caused it to spew hot coffee all over the floor. He still didn’t know how she’d managed that; according to the manufacturer, it was physically impossible for the machine to do what she’d made it do.
She’d made over his living room against his will, defiled his kitchen, done unspeakable things to the finest espresso machine money could buy, driven him to distraction in more ways than he could count - and yet, if she were to come walking back through his front door, Jon knew he’d most likely forget all that and kiss her as though both their lives depended on it.
He could call her. It would be the easiest thing in the world. And didn’t he tell his patients that most of the obstacles they complained about were of their own making, that they had the power to overcome them, that - usually, anyway - all they really had to do was get out of their own way?
He did. And it was absolutely true. It was also - as so many of those patients remarked at the end of sessions - far easier to tell someone else to do, than to do it oneself.
Excerpt #3
"I'll be honest," Annalise said. Sheryl desperately wanted to point out that it was easy to be honest when, first of all, you didn't care what anyone else thought, and, second, you had the full power and resources of Starwood Industries behind you, so you didn't have to care anyway. But she thought better of it and let Annalise go on. "I could care less about your advertising, your company, or you personally. Mirage Cosmetics isn't even a speck on the radar for my family's company, and on a personal level, despite your many flaws, you were far from the worst sister-in-law my idiot brothers have saddled the family with over the years."
From anyone else, that would have been insulting, but for Annalise, it was as close as she'd probably ever come to saying something nice about her. "So why are you here?"
Excerpt #4
"There were some lovely orchids at that nursery on Highway 9, you know the one I mean. I think they'd look spectacular in that vase, especially if you moved it so it catches the afternoon sun." His mother had been a decorator, and though he'd never been particularly interested in the field, he'd inherited a bit of her eye for design.
"You could have bought me one."
"I didn't know you had a new vase to put one in. And we haven't exactly been on the best of terms lately." Anger flashed in her eyes, but she didn't immediately respond; instead she took a deep breath. That was certainly progress on her part. "Forgive me, that was uncalled for. Regardless of what happened the last time we were together in your apartment, we are here now, and if I can, I would like to try and help you with your Annalise problem."
"Believe it or not, I appreciate it.” She scoffed. “But unless you've got a magic wand or a Delorean you never told me about, I'm not sure how you can help me."
"I've got neither, I'm afraid." He wasn't sure what an old car from a bankrupt company had to do with anything; no doubt it was a reference to some movie or TV show he'd missed during the five years he'd spent in Vienna working on his doctorate. It didn't really matter anyway. "But I do have years of psychiatric training, and a willing spirit. That ought to be good for something, don't you think?"
What are your top 10 favorite books/authors?
1. “Winter’s Tale” by Mark Helprin. I think it’s possibly the best novel of the last 50 years. The language is just heartbreakingly beautiful.
2. The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R. Donaldson. This series is heavy going, but it’s an incredible story and well worth the effort. If I have to pick one book out of the trilogy, it would be book 2, “The Illearth War”
3. Dune by Frank Herbert. One of the all-time classic science fiction novels.
4. “Hogfather” by Terry Pratchett. There are too many books in the Discworld series to count them as one entry on the list, so if I have to pick one, it’s the Discworld version of a Christmas story, featuring the Hogfather (who rides on a sleigh pulled by wild boars and leaves you pudding if you’re good and bloody bones if you’re bad), the tooth fairy, the God of Hangovers, DEATH, and DEATH’s granddaughter Susan.
5. “Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee” by Jeff Zentner. This is the newest book on my list. I’m a 51 year old man, and I’m not ashamed to admit that it made me cry. Twice. In public.
6. “The Saga of Pliocene Exile” by Julian May. A fun, sprawling, epic science fiction tale featuring aliens, time travel, psychic powers, romance, huge battles, doomed lovers, and way too much more to list here. Totally worth your time.
7. “E” by Matt Beaumont. An epistolary novel, told in the form of emails, all about the goings-on at a London ad agency in 1999. It’s absolutely hilarious.
8. “Attachments” by Rainbow Rowell. Another epistolary novel, and a love story between a newspaper movie critic and the IT guy whose job it is to monitor employee emails to make sure they’re following all the company rules.
9. “The Hunting of the Snark” by Lewis Carroll. It’s one of my life goals to memorize the whole thing. I’m not remotely close yet.
10. “Mr. Smith and the Roach” by, well, me. It’s the story of a retired NYC homicide detective and his new roommate, a six-foot-tall talking cockroach, who team up to solve the mysteries of who stole Mr. Smith’s pension, and who created the Roach.
J.J.
(James) DiBenedetto was born in Yonkers, New York. He attended Case
Western Reserve university, where as his classmates can attest, he
was a complete nerd. Very little has changed since then.
He
currently lives in Arlington, Virginia with his beautiful wife and
their cat (who has thoroughly trained them both). When he's not
writing, James works in the direct marketing field, enjoys the opera,
photography and the New York Giants, among other interests.
J.J.
is the author of the Dream Doctor Mysteries, the Jane Barnaby
Adventures and several other works.
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